Was the “On the Run” guy a harasser?
“112498 #CairoConfessions #CC #CCConfusion Mood:🔵
I am depressed, I am deployed in the army and I am depressed, of course you would say its normal you are in a toxic environment but thats not the confession, I feel weak I knew every challenge I was going to face I knew how to work things out and keep smiling and happy and passionate even in these circumstances, it worked so well that I am safe and unharmed and actually in a very comfortable position where I go home every week.
The problem isn’t the deployment the problem is that I am depressed because I got weak I am depressed just to be depressed I don’t know why I got weak I was ready for every thing I will loose and during this year working the shit out of my self to plan how to keep what I can keep and how to accept what I will loose
I knew that any relationship will be going down the drain and I was ready for its loss,
Why am I depressed why am I becoming weak is it just an appointment that I have to take even if there is no reason
“112500 #CairoConfessions #CC #CCConfusion Mood:🔵
حاسه اني محشوره في منطقه غريبه وسط ناس مش فاهماهم و لا فاهمني..
بعيده عن كل الناس حتي اهلي
بيفتكروا ان ده تناكه او كبر مني بس الحقيقه مش كده..
محشوره في تفكيري بين اني لازم ابر اهلي اكتر من كده و افضيلهم وقت مخصوص ليهم و بين ان كل قاعده معاهم فيها تهزيق و تقطيم و معايره بارتباطاتي السابقه الفاشله و كل قاعده لازم تقلب بخناق!
خايفه اندم لا ييجي اليوم اللي ملاقيهمش فيه و اندم اني مقضتش معاهم وقت كتير و في نفس الوقت القعده معاهم كلها احباط و كسره نفس و سلبيه..
انا ناجحه في شغلي جدا و علي قدر عالي من الجمال بشهاده الجميع الحمد لله و ده مش بقوله عشان غرور في نفسي بس ده فعلا خلاني مطمع .. محدش حبني لنفسي او لشخصي كله انبهر بالشكل الخارجي و قبل ما الموضوع يقلب رسمي الاقي الموضوع باظ بسبب رفض والدته او والده!!
كلامي مش منظم انا عارفه.. بس ده لان فعلا حاسه ان في حاجه غلط فيا و مش عارفه هي ايه ..
قربت كتير من ربنا عشان احبه من قلبي بجد و فعلا برتاح كل ما بحس اني مش لوحدي و انه معايا بس برضه حاسه ان فيا حاجه غلط!
اللي هو ناس كتير ممكن تنبهر بيا و علاقاتي العامه كويسه و الناس بتشكر فيا بس مليش ونس كده حد الجأله عشان ابكي او احكي سر ، مليش راجل يحبني لذاتي بجد و يتمسك بيا لاخر لحظه و مهما حصل و يبقي سندي و سري!!
معرفش انا ايه الرجاله اللي بتفركش المواضيع عشان امه مش موافقه و لا ابوه اعترض علي ماديات!! معرفش ليه حاسه اني مش هقابل راجل بجد!!
محدش يقولي قربي من والدتك لان الموضوع ده ليه اسباب و قصه لوحده .. انا بحبها مهما عملت و هي بتحبني اكيد و تتمنالي الخير اكيد بس فيه بيننا فجوه كبييييره ليها اسباب متتحكيش ..
كل اللي محتاجاه حد ينصحني ازاي اعرف نفسي اكتر و اوصل لايه هي النقطه الغلط اللي في حياتي و اللي محسساني اني فيه حاجه غلط!
“112501 #CairoConfessions #CC #CCFamily Mood:🔵
Why at some point i would have to endure the pain of losing my precious mom?
She’s still with us, but, I’m dying inside, and it’s everyday.
I’m dying of fear, of pain, of grieve, even though it didn’t happen yet.
A lot of times at my work, i leave the office and go to the an empty room and stare at some of pictures of me and mom…………. and cry! I painfully cry! as if she’s already gone, however, she’s not.
I can’t take it anymore, my friends.
I don’t care how much I can make my mom happy during her life here with us, I still don’t want to experience the pain when the time comes.
U have no idea you much it hurts even though she’s still here with us, And I also have no single idea how I would normally live my life after losing her.
I’m already hiding my tears while writing this at work now.
I can’t take it anymore, friends, i just literately can’t.
It’s already SO painful to me to imagine her leaving our world and i don’t have a clue how it would really feel when it really happens or how i would keep going in my life.
I’m in immediate need for help or advice on how to take this pain and deal with it, from those who experienced it in anyway.
Please, just please, don’t hesitate offering a helping thought of yours.
May be the advice you think it’s useless make me look at my suffering from a whole another perspective.
“112504 #CairoConfessions #CC #CCRelationship Mood:🔵
Hi all i need to knw what to do am in luv with a girl since we were kids lets say 11 years ago and we used to be friends but i didnt tell her but out of a sudden i told her i said I luv and we moved from friends to be lovers we were great so far and we had a fight it was beacuse someone is calling me and it was a girl a colleague from work and she hitted me and she left from this day we didnt talk for more than 2 years i tried so many times to call her to say that i still love her and the answer was u r cheating so keep doing while i was not I was calling her crying and she says u hurt me and she cant do that any more and then 2 years passed and i heard that she was in a relationship and someone is proposing to her and then he didn’t after few month i called her and we talked we became friends again and we said sorry to each other and we went back again only for 3 month and then we had a fight its a small one but she decided not to continue as she is cant be hurt any more she cant forget the moment that the other guy was proposing and he called her dad and he doesn’t want her she was still shocked she is afraid to be hurt again, and she doesn’t want to love any one again and she said that she cant afford or give me 1/3 of the love that am loving her its better for her to live alone instead of hurting me!, what should i do as I promised that i will call her dad by October to arrange things to propose should i stop at this point should i take the step i dont knw i luv her so much and i knw that she loves me but why from the very beginning during the 2 years she had another relationship why she loved another one
Tagged: #Opinion #Pain”
“112508 #CairoConfessions #CC #CCLoneliness Mood:🔵
So I have been living abroad for a little over a year. I’ve gotten a job in one of the biggest companies in the world and I know that I am an extremely lucky person.
However, living abroad is not as glamorous as everyone may think. You’re still working, you have a routine, bills to pay, obligations. It all still applies. Even more so than when you’re in Egypt when you don’t have a support system.
Anyway, I have a potential opportunity to come back to Egypt as a transfer to the company headquarters in Cairo, but I can’t seem to make a decision. On the one hand, career wise, it could be a good step in the right direction. On the other hand, coming back to Egypt now is something that needs to be considered a million times. But I do want to be closer to my family. I wanna have a serious relationship which is almost impossible if you’re a Muslim girl abroad. It’s all messing with my head and I don’t know what to do. thanks 🙂
Tagged: #Rant #Opinion”
“112511 #CairoConfessions #CC #CCSelfHarm Mood:🔵
انا تعبت بجد نفسيا ياريت الناس تقرأ الكلام.
انا بكرهه اهلي اوي اوي للدرجة اني مش بحب اشوفهم ولا اسمع اسمهم مش بحب ان اسمي مرتبط باسم والدي في البطاقة بكرهه وبكره اني هي دي والدتي المفروض وبكره اخواتي وشخصيتهم واسلوبهم وكلامهم انا مش دراما والله بس الاحساس بالنسبة لي عامل زي المريض النفسي اللي اتحط في اوضة مقفولة ومعاه كل الناس اللي وجعوه وجرحوه وعذبوه واتقفل عليه طول عمره ومضطر يستحمل ويعيش وميقدرش يهرب وملوش حد عشان كله شايف انه غلط وانه ده اسمها “” اهلك”” وبيحبوك وبيخافوا عليا بس محدش بيقدر ولا بيصدق غير لما حد ينتحر او يأذي نفسه او يتحول لبني ادم وحش ومش نضيف من جوا كله اسود ، انا مكنتش كده انا بيت بكره نفسي بقيت وحشة في كل حاجة وشي وحش وشكلي واسلوبي وكلامي حتي الحرف بيطلع مني مختلف وصوتي بقي كله كره وبقيت عصبية دايما حتي لو حاجة متستدعيش اني اتعصب وبقي خلقي ضيق وقصير اوي للدرجة اللي تخليني اني مستحملش حتي نفسي مبطقش استحمل عياطي ولا خنقتي بقيت بشتري مهدئات وادوية تنيمني اكتر ما بعدي ايام صاحية فيها فعلا عشان حتي مش طيقاني ونفسي “”اقف “” عشان كفاية انا بتخانق مع نفسي عشان تعبت وبفومها هتبطلي حزن وقرف امتي ؟ انا تعبت منك !! بقيت بكره اصحي اشوفك في المراية ! او اسمع صوتك ! انتي وحشة اوي ومحدش بيحبك وحتي انا مش بحبك ولو مشيتي هتستريحي وتريحي ناس كتير اوي ، ده حتي ربنا مش بيحبك ومش راضي عنك ومش هتنقصي واحد في دنيته الواسعة انا بكرهك اوي اوي.
Tagged: #Pain #Truth”
“112513 #CairoConfessions #CC #CCLoneliness Mood:🔵
i had to go out alone again. i can’t even remember how many times this happened when someone promises me to go out and then they cancel plans while i’m already dressed and ready however i insisted on going out alone because i don’t wanna seem pathetic in front of my mother. but the truth is i feel pathetic and i’m sick of my lifestyle. my friends were never the type of friends i’d like to have i feel like i’m forced to these friendships idk why..i’m going to 3rd year in college and haven’t made better friends except 2 and even these 2 are not the type of people that i know how to communicate with.
my last birthday was the worst day of my life ever though i never used to expect something from anyone but those 2 friends kept counting down and showed so much excitement it was insane that i thought they’d do something really big, they did nothing but writing posts on facebook. which is ok i guess i’m the one to blame for having high expectations. my life is empty and dull so when i thought i’d join some Art organization, my mom didn’t approve of that and said that how can you go plan and organize events when you can’t organize your own life, you can’t even organize your room or cook a proper dish. she thought it’s nonsense at the time i was super excited to do something different in my life or actually, something.
i’m sorry this is such long boring post but i just wanted to vent..
Tagged: #Pain #Rant”
I wish I had asked you a few more things… What will you do after I leave? What do you do when you miss me? Do you miss me? Am I even missable? What will you love after you leave? What do you want to do in love? Do you love? Am I even lovable?
I don’t know who is wrong, I feel like I’ve failed You sometimes I feel like you’ve failed me, I feel like I am too much or much too less to be loved again. I feel I might not be worth it after all like leftover pieces of cookies but all I know that You were the first one who actually meant something to me. The first person I truly cared for outside of my family. The one I didn’t want to hurt, the one I wanted to protect, the one I wanted to become one with, Maybe your feelings weren’t as strong as mines towards the end, but I know you still had feelings
I tried my best to help you, to care for you, and I so badly wanted to show you just how good I could be to you, You disregarded so much of our relationship because you were in denial about being committed to someone for some reason, I could have made things better, I could have done things better, I could have helped you and I could have been happier, we could have been happier, it has been a while and here I am, Faced with the reality of desperately getting over You, I want to move on and I want to not spend hours thinking about you, thinking about what we did together. I don’t want to message you, I don’t want to think of you anymore. You once said you will be there by my side but You left, But I miss You dude, I miss you beyond anyone can imagine.
Hopefully, I can move on by the time you find this and be okay with things. I loved you incredibly, and I love you dearly. It’s bedtime, and now I’m struggling to go asleep without your goodnight. One day I hope to see you again. on the contrary, I wish you happy dreams <3
Tagged: #Pain #RandomFeeling”
“112531 #CairoConfessions #CC #CCLoneliness Mood:🔵
لما نور الحياة يبقي مظلم ،لما كل تفكيرك ف الحياة ع انها هزلية وبائسة وليست مفيدة ع الاطلاق ،لما حياتك تكون سلمية وفجاءة تبقي عدوانية ،لما تسمع نداء موت حد تفرح مش تخاف، لما يكون جزء من تفكيرك هو تدمير كل انواع الحياة ع هذا الكوكب اللعين،لما يبقي تفكيرك هو اختراع سلاح يقضي ع الحياة البشرية ، لما تحب شخص قتل الملايين ويكون قدوتك .
اريد ان ابني حياتي من جديد فانا لازلت شابا جامعيا، اريد ان اقضي ع هذه الشهوة الجنسية حتي يتسني لي التفكير وإعادة بناء افكاري من جديد
Tagged: #Truth #Opinion”